Landfill Panda

A fat-ass raccoon that is too gravitationally-challenged to hide in a tree. Therefore said Trash Panda prowls regions of landfills as to not having to climb but is complacent finding a home in the refuse and wallows in beheaded baby dolls and the lost dreams of childrens toys. Why? It's a fucking Landfill Panda. Why not?

I put this nanny-cam in Teddy Ruxpin. The batteries corroded the back and we tossed it in the can. Except...they weren't corroded...it was lemon-lime jello dust from when we made the tropical aspic. It captured everything. Landfill Panda and all. Land"fill" was right. Talley-ho.