OMS

OMS is an acronym for “old man syndrome”. If you can’t remember what you ate in the last few hours or even in the last few minutes then you suffer from OMS. Some signs of OMS are:

1) Accidental pooping
2) Accidental pooping on someone else
3) Random yelling
4) Saying “what” all of the time when someone asks a question
5) Wearing a cell phone belt clip
6) Thinking that a coin purse is a useful item to carry around.

7) Hating everything, literally peeing hatereade.

8) Forgetting everything
9) I forget what I am typing about…..

bob pissed himself again, I think we need to put him to pasture before his OMS gets the better of him.

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fuck you lottery

when everything that is in your life has turned to shit, congratulations! you've won fuck you lottery!

it is the only lottery that you are guaranteed to win.

jon, just won fuck you lottery yesterday when he wrecked his car, found his girlfriend banging another guy before he was going to announce that he was diagnosed with brain cancer.

(he would of told his parents but they eaten by a bear earlier that morning while camping)

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