Desk Anchor

When a gentleman becomes aroused at his office desk and is not able to get up without causing offense or embarrassment.

office telephone conversation with your girlfriend "I was thinking about last night, now totally desk anchored and can't get to my meeting"

Lahar of shit

When a gentleman strides out, has two to many ales at the pub, and finds himself cut short on the stroll home. A lahar of shit is the avalanche of shit that occurs when you are 500 meters from home, and decide you need to change city.

I was walking home, and suffered a lahar of shit.
Now meed to retire early, and move city.