rachael ray

AKA Raytard, Ray-Ray. The host of 30 Minute Meals on the Food Network. She is by far the most annoying "chef" on t.v. for the following reasons: she learned how to cook at Ho-Jo's,she giggles incessantly, she dumps olive oil and chicken stock onto everything, she claims her food is "healthful" when it actually has loads of fat and calories, her voice soulnds like that of a 5 pack-a-day smoker, she wears unflattering clothing that accentuates her non-boobs and her centaur-like ass/thigh region, she looks like "The Joker" when she smiles, she adds hotdogs to 20% of meals and makes 55% of main courses some sort of hamburger or sammie (sandwich), she uses dumb adjectives to describe food, and she makes up childish nicknames/acronyms because she claims they are quicker to use but she always explains what the nicknames/acronyms mean even if she uses them 10 times per show(so it's a a total waste of time in the first place)

"Hi, I'm Rachael Ray and I make 30 minute disasters. In the time it takes you to laugh your ass off at this program, I'll have made a craptastic and totally artery killing meal which I will try to pass off as healthful from start to finish."
Raytard: "Now, just pour the EVOO-Extra Virgin Olive Oil-into the pan for about 5-15 turns around the pan...Once the EVOO-Extra Virgin Olive Oil-is nice and screaming hot in the pan, add your tasty meatballs"
"See, this butter tastes so nutty when you let it brown for a while!"
"Lemme grab that smoky cumin from the cupboard."
"I'm just gonna throw this crap away in the GB-garbage bowl and then I'm gonna move the GB-garbage bowl- over to the side to give myself some room to work"

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