Mystery swirl

The random spluge-stain you see under a UV light (generally on a motel bed).

Brendan: "We stayed at the cheapest motel; it had a mystery swirl on the bed!"

Lick my cheese

Reqeusting another person to lick your special sauce. This is similar to the phrase suck my dick

Tino: "Sarah said she doesn't want to go out with you."

Brendan: "Well you can tell Sarah that she can lick my cheese!"

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Pube surprise

When a food server becomes angry with the customer and adds their secret ingredient into the item being served. This is the next step above spitting in one's food.

Tino: "I was a jerk to that vendor. I hope he doesn't do anything to my ice cream."
Brendan: "He was very angry. You probably got his pube surprise."

Marinating the beef

The process of lubricating one's genitals (most commonly the penis).

I couldn't put it in, so I tried Marinating the beef and voilá! it finally slid in.