Sergio

A tall, cursed, clumsy person. Sergios consider themselves happy-go-lucky, but make no mistake– they will still scream if you kidnap them. He holds an inexplicable hatred for beavers and while he may appear intelligent, he is quite dumb. He may also pretend to be your friend, as he secretly plots your murder with his trusty rebar. Despite these shortcomings, he will manage your office.

That weirdo? His name has to be Sergio.