leicester

Leicester is a pretty nice, safe place according to everyone else.

It isnt.

We're nick named Spit City, Chav Central and Illegal Immigrant Capital; all true. The ratio of outsiders to native Leicesterians is severly one sided to the former, which wouldnt really be a bad thing if they werent rude, didnt barter in department stores and actually learnt how to drive instead of stealing their drivers license out of a cereal box.

The roughest place is probably Braunestone, more specifically, 'Dodge'. Do not even get a bus through the place without having 999 dialed into your phone and your thumb above the call button, as you will not get through without some form of verbal and physical abuse.

Most of us have developed an inability to speak properly, now calling where we live 'Lesta' and using phrases such as 'thats bad man, init'. We have a huge teenage pregancy rate and I warn you not to go to any parks, as there is almost always someone being licked out or getting pregnant in a bush or on a bench of some description.

Most people are illiterate, reaching ages of up to 14 without even picking up a book that doesnt have pictures in or isnt Nuts. This results in the majority of people on council estates living off benefits, which is normaly fraudulant anyway.

Besides that, we gave England Gary Lineker, comprehensive schools, Leicester Tigers and finger print testing for the police, detectives, etc...the only half decent contribution to the country our little city has made

Please dont make me move to Leicester. I'll be spat on by chavs and gangsta wannabes.

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