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A Stench Pipe is a dark brown, pustule filled, rear end tube much loved by the shirt lifting classes of Peckham. Originally led by the Knights of St. George, today, Britain's remaining brigade of Stench Pipers is led by Major General Sir Hew Bottomley Swill. The last remaining shirt lifting army group of the line, they form up every second Tuesday of the month on Horse Guards Parade in Woking where they are reviewed by seven gerbils and a post-operative hose pipe called Alice.
My, my, look at those gerbils as they eye up that line of stench pipes. Alice has taken a three speed and its double headed.
18π 3π
Trooping the Colour is an ancient tradition performed by young men in the London district of Earl's Court on the second Saturday of each June. Overseen by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, the young men of the area colourfully display their lemons and plums before each hour engaging in musical displays of side-walk flaccidity known as Trooping. Originally dating back to 1123BC when King Kong was on the thrown, in recent years many smaller plumbs have been used as a result of global cooling.
Ere Liz, look at that flaccid young man Trooping the Colour of his lemons and plumbs. Cor yeah Phil, they look reet juicy for me gaggin swallow hole. And just think, they date back to King Kong.
16π 3π
A midget minge muncher is a height challenged adult female who likes to drink from the furry cup of life. Similar to up-skirt golden shower guzzlers, minge munchers particularly enjoy the state of stupor that results from a process known as female ejaculate face flooding.
I, your mother was a midget minge muncher just like her mother before her. Your mother could drink a 1,000 stench swilled quims dry a day and still have room for a pile of old female ejaculate before bed. Them were the days before television.
23π 8π
A Quim Pot is a pot in which people, mainly gentlemen, place their detachable rubber twats during the resting hours. Originally used in Georgian Portsmouth by the senior officers of the fleet, by Victorian times they were offered as a trade union benefit to the labouring classes North of Watford. Having declined between the two world wars, these pots have come back in to fashion since the late 1960s and the growth of the feminist movement.
Eh, I gave that rubber twat a good wad of mess. Now where is that Quim Pot so I can rest my sausage?
19π 2π
A dog handler is a human who likes to grip, fondle and then swallow a large juicy sausage vended on the street corners of major US cities. Often, handlers like to enhance the taste of their throat filling meat feasts by spurting sticky yellow mustard up and down their length.
As a demanding Dog handler I must shoot my mustard all over this meaty length. I can't wait to get it down my throat. Goodness, what a hot and delicious whopper it is.
18π 6π
A Crumple Plopper is a plopper who dumps irregular and crumpled plops. These plops emerge slowly and painfully at first but then as the pressure builds they are finally boshed into the world with great force and gusto. Staining the pan's sides and spreading their foul and odorous miasma they eventually engulf their victims much like a big Welsh girl's knicker gusset.
My, my, is that an irregular and misshapen plop Sir Blundell Huge-Blundell? It looks to me as if you have been guzzling a gigantic curried gruffalo to produce such a Crumple Plopper.
17π 1π
A plumb sucker is a short adult female with doe eyes and a pouting, gagging, deportment. Addicted to endless plumb sucking, these human receptacles can be identified by their remote gaze, endless lip licking and upper body rocking motions. Occasionally, they can be found sitting alone in British public parks, fingering their gashes whilst groaning like hamsters in season. In medieval times, before 1997, social records show that the average 18 year old plumb sucker could strip suck the skin off more than 12 firm hoods an hour. That is before the national speed limit was lowered to 8, a decade later.
Oh the joy of a pert young plumb sucker. Oh, how the plumbs are sucked and the juice flows. Moisture, pleasure, and my firm purple headed mountain. Cascading, exploding, flowing - just like a vat of melting ice cream up a nun's clunge on national dogging night.
21π 2π