crutches

Deathly pre-evolved devices with the purpose of aiding one with an injured leg, knee, ankle, etc.

May cause drowsiness, sweating, and result in massive upper-body strength.
ultimately, makes one look like a badass god/goddess capable of surviving any difficult circumstance.

'that guy's on crutches? he must be a menacing thug!'

'i get the best crack from people on crutches.'

'that girl gave the greatest head i've ever had. i was blindfolded, but she was obviously on crutches.'

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