Friend Zone

1. The hellish place that a man will find himself in if he does not immediately place a woman he is beginning to form a relationship with below him and make his shallow sexual intentions the focus. This occurs most often when a man decides he likes a woman and actually has enough respect for her to treat her with dignity.

2. A term used by some women to excuse their complete lack of sexual attraction to a man who has recently made it clear they are interested in a relationship. This is mostly due to Disney movies, which give women unrealistic expectations and a sense of entitlement to a "Prince Charming."

Poor Bastard: (What they're saying) Hey, I've really enjoyed getting to know you these past few weeks. (What they're thinking) Hey, I've really enjoyed getting to know you these past few weeks.

Selfish Bitch: (What they're saying) I know! You're such a great friend! (What they're thinking) I have too! You're so good at listening to me complain!

Poor Bastard: (What they're saying) Well, that's the thing, I think I'd like to be more than friends. (What they're thinking) Well, that's the thing, I think I'd like to be in a relationship with you.

Selfish Bitch: (What they're saying) But I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship! (What they're thinking) I can't comprehend the fact that you legitimately care for me, and since I'm more sexually attractive than you are I'm going to use your feelings to my emotional advantage! Enjoy being used in the friend zone!

Poor Bastard: (What they're saying) I get that, let's stay friends! (What they're thinking) I'm going to go kill myself!

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