bafflator

The bafflator is the guy at work who is always baffled. No matter what you explain they will be baffled. When you see them the gladiators theme tune from the sky series enters your head and you replace the word gladiator s with the word bafflator, you chuckle to yourself a day then prepare yourself for the next question.

You cannot allow more than one bafflator in a meeting otherwise baffling will spread like a virus and infect all those in the meeting. Resulting in a mega bafflasourous smashing up the building requiring the help of the power rangers to coax the evil beast down from the top of the building and Will Self on a mega phone trying to talk some sense it to the dense mass.

Bafflators can be appeased temporarily by giving the bits of paper with the title instructions on them. This only lasts 5 minutes before they are back with there fingers smelling of faeces as they have been scratching there bum bum. They will ask some other lame question before giving up and retreating to the cubicles to pick their nostrils.

Using your finger to point and saying someone else's name is a good defence.

Ah man the bafflator came over this morning. I gave him the precise instructions and he just stood there looking baffled.

pitcher of health

Someone who goes to eat and drink all you can restaurants.

that's his fourth pitcher in an hour he really a pitcher of health ah ha, ah ha, ah hahahaha

booby baffled

When a baffled virgin gets his first proper gander at a pair of boobs. He will gaze and be baffled as to what to do. The type of person who suffers from this is normally always baffled at new situations in life. You can only be booby baffled once in life.

Showed Norman my breasts last night. It was awkward, he got booby baffled. He never made 2nd base.

3👍 1👎

fanny beard

You will require a girl with a hairy bush. Flip her upside down spread her legs, go behind her and rest your chin on her fanny. A mirror is best at this point to check out your fanny beard. You can use ladies with differing colour hair to get your desired look.

Flipped my bird upside down last night and took a fanny beard selfie. My birds sporting an 80s bush at the moment.

leechhold

You think you own your property but actually you fell for the new build property scandal whereby you bought a leasehold for 999 years, and will be screwed numerous times by various people. You got a leechhold.

I bought a Persimmons house.
No mate, you rent the land and they get the right to charge you hundreds of pounds for just asking to think about adding a conservatory. You got a leechhold. They will.sell the free hold on and butt fuck you with covenants and ground rents. Bad luck.

chippie chips

The tastiest of chips.
When in a chip shop make sure to ask for chippie chips, they won't serve the normal chips they will give you the don.

Steve: Wanna get some chips
Gordan Ramsey: Yer sure
Steve: Hi, can we get two portions of chippie chips, cheers.
Gordan Ramsey: hahaha what did you say
Gordan Ramsey: Hmm, damn that is delicious, finally some good fucking chips!
Steve: That's cos they are chippie chips

going barefaced

Going out and about doing your own thing without the use of a surgical mask.

"Going to the shop"
"You ain't going barefaced"
"F U & the government imma do ma thing"