Jake Story

An extremely boring and long winded story without any clear meaning or end. The end of the story will leave the listener slightly angry they were forced to listen to such a moronic pointless story. The word 'Jake Story' can also be used as an insult for someone who told a shitty story. The word was coined by a mother who realized all jakes tell terrible stories.

Example 1
Dylan: " So I was playing soccer and then the ball hit my head and it kind of hurt. But it wasn't my fault the sun was in my eyes and..."
Adam: " Wow, cool story Jake"
Example 2
Rob: "So I was walking down the street and this dog just started barking at me. It was crazy you just had to be there"
Matt: " That was such a Jake Story"

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Matty Platty

A semi-aquatic cold blooded mammal found in cold bodies of water for extended periods of time. Often referred to as “King of the Commons”.

Hey look it’s Matty Platty, king of the commons!