Dick Fingers

A hyperendemic medical condition caused by forgetting to wash one's hands post-masturbation. Transmission occurs via tactile association between infected and susceptible individuals. Symptoms include extreme clamminess of the hands; a smell can usually be ascertained as well. Objects at risk of contamination include door knobs, refrigerator handles, light switches, and computer mouses especially. At present, the only known vaccination is castration.

Note: DF cannot be considered an STD because masturbation does not count as sex.

Doctor: "I'm afraid you have DF."
Josh: "Is it curable?"
Doctor: *Sighs* "No, not really."

Girl: "Oh my god...you have dick fingers!"
Guy: "I guess I forgot to wash my hands."

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Pool Lingerie

A mocking term for men's swimwear, especially for losers.

Peter: Nice pool lingerie.
Justin: Knock it the fuck off.

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