shocker

A term used to describe an obvious fact. Used to describe something, a situation, someone or an abstract that is obvious and of known quantity. Corrolary is "like...duh! We knew that"

"Jodie Foster just came out of the closet...shocker!"
"Zed said he was going to the bar for a beer...shocker!...he does that every day."
"Jenna said she wasn't going back to him after cheating on her....shocker!...I saw them yesterday leaving the adult book store"

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