handmaid's towel

When you leave a giant wet spot on the bed, but you just want to go to sleep you can use a handmaid's towel to soak up the mess. Alternatively, you can put down the handmaid's towel before you fuck to keep your filthy cum off the sheets.

Honey, you blew the stew all over my side of the bed. Can you grab me a handmaid's towel while you are in the bathroom?

Punitive Cunnilingus

When a chick is so naughty that even a belt whipping isn't enough, the only way to get your lick in is to administer the punitive cunnilingus.

My girlfriend made me more frustrated than a Texas district judge when I couldn't get my lick in with the big belt, so I had to administer the punitive cunnilingus.

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