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Dutch Oven

Lying on your back in bed on a cold winter morning, fill the covers with your own hot gasses. Arrange the sheets in such a way as to create a flue or exhaust channel towards your significant other. Simultaneously lift both arms straight up slowly to draw in more air. Finally, let the covers fall rapidly to expel a rush of hot gasses (and BO) up the flue toward your unsuspecting loved one.

Historically, "Dutch Ovens" were preheated brick cooking ovens in which the heated bricks constructing the walls would do the cooking. This modern adaptation approximates the warm rush of heat and aromas that blast you in the face when opening an oven door.
Don't forget to declare "dutch oven" and remember; practice makes perfect.

After my last Dutch Oven, I find myself sleeping alone.

by assgasket October 25, 2009

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