hit the trees

To smoke pot (probably comes from the resemblance of buds to trees).

I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono.

101👍 12👎

bowling ball for marge

A present that you ostensibly buy for someone else, but really bought for yourself. Expression comes from that Simpsons episode in which Homer buys Marge a bowling ball he wants.

You're buying Mom a drill for Christmas? Dude that's such a bowling ball for marge, she'll totally know it.

144👍 19👎

canary

Someone that you let go first to make sure it is safe. Used sometimes by video-gamers. For instance, when the canary gets killed, springs the trap, takes the fall etc, it will tell you where the dangers/enemies are. Origin: coal miners used to keep a canary in the mine, when it died they knew there was poison gas.

Looks dangerous in there, let the canary go first.

189👍 41👎

Devil's water

Devil's water - alcohol

while under the influence of the devil's water...

203👍 42👎

Bluenited States

The blue states (the west coast and northeast/upper midwest), which are anything but United with the red states of Jesuslandia.

The Bluenited States are not United with the Red States.

208👍 60👎

Operation Iraqi Liberation

What the US government was calling the Iraq War before they realized the title was more appropriate than it should have been (Operation Iraqi Liberation – O.I.L.). This is not an urban legend made up by leftists; check the official whitehouse press release:

www.whitehouse.gov/news/rele ases/2003/03/20030324-4.html
(delete space in "releases")

Operation Iraqi Liberation liberated something, but it wasn't Iraqis (it was O.I.L.).

540👍 70👎

Dick Cheney

An oily, whorefaced, bean-stealing enemy of the people. Dick Cheney completed the long-rumored merger of Halliburton and the Whitehouse. Under Dick Cheney’s guidance Halliburton became a de facto government agency, overseeing policy decisions as well as spending billions in public funds. Dick Cheney also shot a senior citizen in the face, while poaching quail, at a canned hunt (after drinking). He was then taken off the NRA Christmas card list.

Which feeble oligarch attempted to throw a pitch at a Nationals’ game but was too weak to make it over the plate?
A. Montgomery Burns
B. Dick Cheney

The answer is B.

395👍 99👎