snail's asshole

hard to find

John: Sorry I am late.

Me: Relax, This place is a snail's asshole.

Statuatory Crush

A feeling of sexual desire for someone with whom sex would be considered statutory rape.

Eric had a statuatory crush on our hot English teacher.

38👍 4👎

forcing an owl to jog at noon

asking way to much

John: Jenny wants me to spend two-thousand dollars to be bored for five days at her cousin's wedding in Australia.

Me: She's forcing an owl to jog at noon.

16👍 5👎

farting next to a waterfall

Something that no one is going to notice.

John: I wore the same tie as my boss the other day, I think it really annoyed him.

Me: Relax, you are farting next to a waterfall.

33👍 6👎