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consultish

A gibberish language spoken by management consultants

Consultant: ..and then, if we invert your product matrix and relocate 5000 jobs to China, we can boost ROE by 50% to 13% while increasing upper management pay packages by 200%.

Normal person: Ummm, I'm sorry, what language are you speaking in?

Consultant: Consultish

by ayyfron February 23, 2011


klort

Verb (chiefly Scottish in origin): to experiment and to make a mess simultaneously. To experiment in a way that is aimless or dangerous.

Alister's mother hid his chemistry set in a secret location after he nearly destroyed the kitchen while klorting.

by ayyfron December 9, 2009

63πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


beauty gap

A sharp, easily noticeable difference in the beauty/physical attractiveness of two members of a couple

Person 1: Do you think that Richard and John will get married?

Person 2: No, Richard will dump John.

Person 1: Why do you say that?

Person 2: Because there is too much of a beauty gap.

Person 1: Oh yeah, good point.

by ayyfron February 6, 2012

15πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


dress jeans

A pair of jeans without holes or too much wear and tear that can be worn on semi-formal occasions without embarrassment.

Your going to the Biff and Muffy's party like that?

Yup. Got my dress jeans on with a dress shirt, dress shoes, leather belt and my Rolex. What are you looking at me like that for? I wouldn't look any better in khakis.

by ayyfron August 14, 2010

37πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž


flea flicker

literally someone whose job it is to flick fleas off of their employer, employers family or guests.

someone of extremely low social standing, who is obliged to engage in humiliating professions just to get by

Lady Gaga thrives off of her paparazzi flea flickers

If it hadn't been for his family name and inherited wealth, George W Bush would like have amounted to little more than a flea flicker.

by ayyfron August 4, 2010

44πŸ‘ 12πŸ‘Ž


Neocortex Smile

When the brain tells the mouth to arrange itself in smile position but forgets to tell the rest of the face (eyes, temples etc.) to do the same. Sometimes revealing the lower teeth, it is often menacing and always insincere.

When her ex-boyfriend unexpectedly showed up at the party, she put on a brave, neocortex smile but her eyes revealed her inner distress.

"Have a nice day" the receptionist said for the 30th time that day through her plastic, neocortex smile.

by ayyfron January 26, 2011

24πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Globular Clusterfuck

A number of closely interrelated disasters that are connected to one another through their collective gravity.

The expression is the combination of the astronomical term globular cluster for group of stars and a clusterfuck.

The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico will ruin corporate reputations, damage the fishing industry, kill countless fish and birds, pollute beaches and coastal wetlands. In short it is a globular clusterfuck that will take years to recover from.

World War I, the Spanish Flu, the Great Depression and World War 2 are viewed by many historians as a globular clusterfuck that spanned over three decades.

by ayyfron June 1, 2010

62πŸ‘ 8πŸ‘Ž