chuck norris

2 be or not 2 be? that is the question. the answer? chuck norris

whats the meaning of life? chuck norris

when the dinosaurs became extinct it wasnt because of a meteorite, it was because of chuck norris

one time adam and eve had a party in the garden of eden. they failed to invite chuck norris so he roundhouse kicked them out of the garden and shoved an apple down adams throat, which created the adams apple

the united states could save billions in defense funding if they trade the military for chuck norris

chuck norris invented fire when he was staring at a piece of log and laser beams shot from his eyes

chuck norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with laser beams from his eyes

chuck norris does not get frostbite. chuck norris bites frost
science fact: roundhouse kicks r comprised primarily of an element called chucktanium

Chuck Norris + Roundhouse Kick - Bruce Lee = Jackie Chan & Jet Li

once chuck norris played the best poker player in the world. he won using his laser vision to burn the other mans cards

chuck norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf

chuck norris puts the ass in assassinate. by this i mean he roundhouse kicks ur ass

when arnold says the line "i'll be back" in the first terminator movie it is implied that is he going 2 ask chuck norris for help in the sequels

the first law of thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets chuck norris

the movie kill bill is actually a childhood biography of chuck norris

when chuck norris does a pushup, he isnt lifting himself up, hes pushing the earth down

when chuck norris jumps into a pool, he dosent get wet, the pool gets chuck norrised

one time a man asked chuck norris for directions. to make his point, he grabbed another man, and ripped out his heart, painted n,s,e,w in their directions with the blood, jabbed a magnet down the mans throat, put him on the ground and spun him.

chuck norris once worked as a weatherman for the san diego evening news. every night he would make the same forecast: partly cloudy with a 75% chance of pain

chuck norris doesnt daydream. he's too busy giving other people nightmares

the word kill was invented by chuck norris. other words were die, beer, and please

chuck norris went to america before christopher columbus, but after roundhouse kicking all the natives, he got bored and retired to anarctica

if u ask chuck norris what time it is, he always says, two seconds til. after u ask, two seconds til what? he roundhouse kicks u in the face

the only creature to ever have defeated chuck norris is curious george, not because he was strong, but was too cute

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