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Derrick is a fine gentleman, until you realize that he has absolutely no game. He tries dancing but just looks like he has a stick up his ass and has to take a fat piss at the same time. He spends hours upon hours refining his gaming skills but has no game in the real world. He copes with this harsh reality by shitting on all the kids in CS:GO.
Person1: "Yo, who's that guy?"
Person2: "That guy? He's Derrick T."
Person1: "Oh, he looks like he gets no bitches."
Person2: "He doesn't."
Michael's natural existence is a humor to the people around him, he is constantly hitting nicotine and asking people to buy nicotine and alcohol for him because he's too much of a lazy shit. He also thinks he pulls mad bitches but the bitches he does pull live 200 miles away and he has to buy a plane ticket just for some badussy.
Person 1: "Yo, who is that?"
Person 2: "Oh, that guy? That's Michael."
Person 1: "Oh. He looks like a fucking idiot."
Person 2: "He is."
John P thinks he's hot shit because he works at a warehouse for Home Depot and there's mad bitches there. There's this bitch that has dyed hair, a septum ring and John P simps over her but knows deep inside that he will never receive the cooch. He smokes weed, trips on acid and plays league of legends all fucking day, jerking off and just turning his brain to mush. He used to play guitar but now he doesn't play shit and is just an unproductive sack of shit that sits on his ass all day. His laugh sounds like a donkey and he lives with Jesus.
Person1: Yo, who's that guy?
Person2: Oh, that guy? That's John P.
Person1: Hm, he looks like he simps for bitches, never breaks up with his girlfriend, sits on his ass and plays league all fucking day, and jerks off every waking second.
Person2: Yep, that's him. Classic John P.
Edgar Z thinks he's hot shit cause he joined an asian frat, but really he's still just a lonely pussy that gets no bitches. He thinks he's mad cool wearing all these accessories, but it distracts him from the fact that he's still just a 5'8" small asian boi with a lil 5 inch saucy. He also likes to promote his frat in the cringiest ways by putting dumbass emojis and saying dumb shit like "MEET OUR WOMEN OF EMINENCE."
Person1: "Yo, Edgar Z, what's up man?"
Edgar Z: "ð£LISTEN UP! MUTINY BACK OUT HEREð£
HURD YALL COULDN'T GET ENOUGHð
âï¸SO WE COMING AGAIN THIS BACK2SKOOL SZN ðWITH ANOTHER BANGERð¥GET OUT THE COLDð¥¶ANG GET WITH YA BOO ON THE DANCE FLOORððº AND TURN IT UPð¥
ðGET TO KNOW THE â¨STUNNINGâ¨LADIES OF EMINENCE ð¥µAND DRINK UPðºAT OUR OPEN BARðº TILL YOU CANT NO MOREð
ðLOCK IN YA TIX CUZ THEY SELLING QUICKð¨"
Person1: "Alright, shut the fuck up."
Person1: "Yo, is that Jesus?"
Person2: "Nah you dumbass, that's just Nick."
*Nick is seen swimming through land*
Person1: "Oh word."
Johnny E has a massive cock and is super charismatic. He makes sure everyone knows about how big his massive cock is and the fact that he's a Beatles fan. He plays the guitar like he fingers pussy but he sings like two keys off. He's a manwhore that likes to fuck around with as many biddies as possible. From the second he wakes up, he's only thinking about how he can impale the next bitch with his meat rod. He can last hours and nuts gallons. His long hair makes him look like John Lennon and he drives a nice car but his huge cock weighs it down so he has to go slow over any bumps to prevent the car's bottom from scraping
Person1: Yo, what's up Johnny E?
Johnny E: Hey do you know this song by the Beatles?
Person1: Ai, shut the fuck up.
Howie Tse is a chill individual. He likes to cook steak for 4 hours and say that he'll back to play games in 10 mins, and proceed to take 4 hours. And then when he comes and everyone confronts him, he just goes like "broo, i gotta cook it, and then i gotta enjoy it dude. We didn't just eat steak, we made corn and potatoes." He then proceeds to play videogames until 5 am, and anytime he's close to dying he'll make this guttural sound that sounds like "aour aour aour". If he dies, he'll be like "bruh what da fuck" but if he somehow arises from the situation unscathed, he will go "see bro im too shnasty dude". He also likes to smoke weed and will not shut the fuck up about watching RRR. He won't stop talking about it until he shows his friends scenes from the movie and then he'll see his friends not give any reaction and will just be like "ok." Then, every once in a while his dad will open the door to his mancave and whistle before going "howa". Also everytime you walk into his house you hear a faint, "aaaahhhhh eeeheh oooohhh eeehh youruueraufbhaeahhhhhhhhh ahhh ehhh eeeehh oohhhh" that's on loop for 24 hours.
Person1: "Yo what's good Howie Tse?"
Howie Tse: "AOUR AOUR AOUR, no fckin way dude i just died bruh das crazyyy anyway go watch RRR ya hurd"
Person1: "Ai nevermind bruh."