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Crusty toast is a sexual act performed by 2 people of same of different sex during intercourse. the first person has to shit all over the second person's chest, let it dry for 2 days while the second person feeds on his own shit and the butt juice from the shit drying on his chest. after the shit dries it has to be scraped off with a knife and put on a toast. voila! now both of them can enjoy a crusty toast on a pleasent wednesday morning!
"Dude, Mike and Molly had a smelly crusty toast this morning!"
!WARNING- THIS IS NOT A REAL MEDICAL CONDITION AND JUST MADE UP SO DO NOT TRY THIS (unless you really want to)!
Cumpeelitis is a medical condition where the pee water gets stuck in the urethra. this can cause slight discomfort and the pee can leak out at random moments like sleeping, sneezing or coughing which might be embarrassing. there are many ways to fix cumpeelitis but the most efficient way is forceful cumming. to conduct the procedure, one must wear gloves but it is optional. then he should use lube (or not) and insert the entire fist up their butthole. then they have to locate for their prostate gland and squeeze it to start forcing the cum out. the cum with enough pressure will push itself and the pee out.
"Oh son, it appears you have cumpeelitis. Time to fix it!"
"Mom why did the doctor fist me? - He fixing your cumpeelitis!"