Zombie dick

What your finger looks like after injuring and becoming an absolute bloody mess under neath the fingernail

"You were so trashed last night when you slammed your finger in the door. How's that feeling today"
"Well, it feels fine, but it looks like a zombie dick"

7👍 3👎

slurggle

the noise a wet fart/shart makes while you are sitting down

I don't know what was more embarrassing, having to leave the Mexican restaurant for new slacks after sharting or the loud slurggle that got everyone's attention