machinugas

When your computer or device is being a crazy asshole.

My computer froze mid-processing, in a state of machinugas. I guess I'll just turn off the stupid fucker and call my Rabbi.

pencil fuck

1. when your sharpener eats up your pencil

2. when skinny people have sex

electric pencil sharpeners are great because you can reduce the risk of pencil fuck

WDWDN

What Do We Do Now?

Idiot 1: Hey, What the fuck , WDWDN?

Idiot 2: I don’t know.

Feed the Ducks

Unsolicited, undesired invitation to a homosexual relationship

Jim: you wanna feed the ducks?
Bob: no, brah, I don’t swing that way.
Jim: ok, you wanna feed the snake?

Smelly Christ

not to be confused with Shitty Christ

psychiatrist: hello sir, can we help you with a shower, some clean clothes and ointment for your head lice? You must be very uncomfortable!

patient: get your hands off me, punk! I AM JESUS CHRIST, GODDAMNIT! GOD DAMN YOU all to HELL! I am your SAVIOR, you motherfucker!!

psychiatrist to nurse : OK, I think we need a HAC and put Smelly Christ in 31-D

nurse: We can't put him in 31-D because Shitty Christ is in 31-W and they'll get confused.