To give jib

Applies to things or people that are causing you pain or annoyance.
Unsure of origin or how widespread usage of the phrase is, but widely used in Liverpool.

To give jib can be used like this:

Boy hits head on a night out. The next morning the bruise is giving him jib.

A manager keeps going on at a member of staff. The manager is giving the staff member jib.

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Instabating

When one finds themselves scrolling Instagram so frequently that the time spent doing so is comparable to that of a young man masturbating.

My girlfriend's iPhone shows Instagram is using more data than Spotify and Facebook combined - no wonder she doesn't want to slam me at the moment. All that instabating has ruined her labido.

I shit myself empty

A phrase used after enduring chronic diarrhea

Person 1: "That kebab last night gave me dark insides"

Person 2: "Yeah tell me about it, I shit myself empty"

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