Face-Jacked

When you log on to Face Book and see that people have been carrying on conversations on "your page" without you. People that don't even know each other just sharing the witty reparte and now it takes up your whole page!

"I went to my home page on Face Book only to find my page had been "face-jacked" by my friends about some comment I made, that now has nothing to do with my original thought!"

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Celebrate Morning Mass

Short for morning masterbation. basically a way of relieving your tension before you go to work, play, etc. Better than liquor or pharmeceuticals, a good orgasm will release endorphins and make you feel ready to face the world. Just be careful, gentlemen, you don't want to have a "hair gel" incident like in the movie "Something About Mary". People can also mistake for Morning Mass for going to services in a church..."I was on my knees and I did call on the Lord's name a few times...."

"Wow, Dude, you look really relaxed today. Aren't you worried about the big presentation?"

"Nah, I make sure I "Celebrate Morning Mass" before I get here"

"You do that a lot.... I admire your devotion to your religion"

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