best fwends

What 12 year old Asian girls call their friends on Twitter.

AZNSaILoRmOoN12: I wuv mai best fwends. #retweet

50👍 7👎

bit-choosy

How to cover up calling someone a bitch when they unexpectedly walk in on the conversation.

Trent is being a little bit-CHOOSY about what he wants to do tonight.

58👍 15👎

3 eyes

Insult for someone wearing a monocle.

British guy after tipping his top hat and putting a monocle up to his eye: Pip pip. Cheerio.

American guy: Fuck you 3 eyes!

52👍 26👎

Dick Tracy

What to call yourself when you are tracing your own penis.

Your roommate, Trent: "Dude!!!! What in the fuck are you doing?!!? In MY room?!? Naked?!?! With MY markers and construction paper?!?!?"

You: "Shhhh...this is some Dick Tracy shit... calm down Trent."

39👍 19👎

Faith Book

Facebook for Christians... with lisps.

Mom: Terrence, it's time for church!
Son: Lemme log off of my FAITH BOOK firtht.
Mom: FAITHBOOK?
Son: Excuth my lithp!

Nacherone

Robert Palmer's favorite food combo: Nachos with pepperonis on top.

Lyric from "Addicted to Love": "Your mind...is nacherone"

22👍 1👎

dandy lions

A group of 2 or more gay lions.

Little boy: Mommy, look at the dandy lions!
Mom: No Coleman, he's just...err...umm.. scratching his friends back. (Nervously pulls son over to look at the monkeys instead)

56👍 9👎