Salem

A Salem is the act of pouring cow excrement in a (typically female) partner's vaginal (anal if male) cavity . This act was practiced in the 17th century, as a way for men to ensure their partners will stay loyal and not commit sin before marriage, as they believed no man would engage in sexual intercourse with such a foul smelling person.
By the time the Salemed person engages in marriage, the excrement typically hardens, and requires a doctor's assistance to be removed (which will be granted if the man believes their partner has been faithful).

Although this act has fallen out of fashion in the 18th century, It is still practiced by traditional villages all around the world.

Dave: I am a month from getting married, but I think my fiancée is cheating on me!
John: You should Salem her.

pooblescoop

a scoop of pooble

Guy 1: man i could really go for some pooble right now...
John Wayne Gacy: make sure to get a pooblescoop for me too! tee hee ;3