In The Doghouse

When your partner won't speak to you or look at you. Most will stay here for between 1-7 days until their partner has calmed down or got over their PMS, PMT, general bad mood, or their angry reaction to your unacceptable behaviour (drinking binge etc). Symptoms are :

- Self-Acceptance - that you are on the way there. You could probably stop now and be ok, but you don't want to. For example, if you were drinking for 2 days, you may as well stay out for 3 or 4.
- Denial - Thinking that your wife or girlfriend will be ok when you finally decide to come home.
- Bargaining - After you have been ignored for a period of time (days / hours depending on the severity of the incident), you may try to bargain to get out of the dog-house early. It is a normal reaction, but most try to do this too early. Better to ride it out.
- Spending - Rational thinking on your part that this has gone on long enough and a willingness to spend money on your partner to get over it.
- Relapse - When bargaining and spending are unsuccessful, you may decide to go on another bender, or perform the same bad behaviour.
- Remorse - Feeling that you have done something wrong. Very rare and is only applicable is less than 0.001% of doghouse incidents.

It can be rated on a scale of 1-5.

1 - Cosmetic (1 day stint in doghouse)
2 - Minor (2-3 days)
3 - Major (4-5 days)
4 - Severe(6-7 days)
5 - Epic (Over 7 days) - This is generally considered more than doghouse material and more like a shithouse

"There comes a point in your life where women rule the roost. You think you are the boss but you're not the boss. The missus had me in the doghouse for going on a two day bender in town just before Christmas."

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