bizarro

Short for Bizarro-worldo.

The opposite of the real world. Good is evil, round is square, hello is goodbye. Introduced in the "Superman" comics and used to extreme hilarity on "Seinfeld."

Bizarro tires on the car are square.

Bizarro Saddam Hussein has George W. Bush locked up in prison.

Bizarro Hillary Clinton bakes cookies for her son's Cub Scout troop, doesn't worship Satan, and enjoys sexual intercourse with a man.

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Ireland's Eye

A large mountain of crap that sticks out of the water in the toilet bowl, much like an island in the ocean. This is often the result of drinking Guinness to the point of passing out the prior evening.

I just dropped the biggest Ireland's Eye. That bathroom is going to stink for days!

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Malcolmaniac

A die-hard fan of the enormously funny show Malcolm In the Middle. Malcolmaniacs are those who keep up to date on the show's characters, buy full season DVDs, name their pets after the characters, chat on his message board, or anything else that may contibute to supporting the shows ratings and advertising revenue.

Malcolmaniacs are crazy!

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G-money

The retarded guy (Downs Syndrome) that sometimes hangs out at ESPN Zone on 11th Street in DC. He befriends random people and shouts "HAAALLLLOOOO!" all night long.

Being nice to G-Money helped us score with the skunts. Too bad none of them would let him skunt fuck her too.

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FEMUS

An annoying coworker who thinks that he is an authority on every subject ever conceived. Behavior includes (but is not limited to) butting in to every conversation within ear-shot, complains incessantly, taking over and fucking up other people's projects, picking fights for the sake of fighting, fucking up because he thinks that he knows everything and doesn't need to RTFM or ask questions to more knowledgeable staff members, invites himself along to lunches and happy hours, brags incessantly, physically stinks of rotten cabbage, and crying whenever something doesn't go his way.

Originally conceived as an acronym for our coworker Sam's bizarro twin - "Fat, Evil, Melting, and Ugly Sammy."

"God damnit! Who invited Femus!"


Guy 1: "...then we went to the Pizza House for lunch..."
Femus: "You know, the origins of pizza are very interesting. They come from the Aboriginal tribes of Scandinavia and include rack mountable switch plates and overdrive compartments."
Guy 1: "What the fuck are you talking about? Who asked you anyway, you stupid fucking prick."

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Monopoly Money

Foreign currency, usually printed in bright colors with funny pictures of people that no one has ever heard of. Called Monopoly Money or Funny Money because it looks and feels like some fake cash you get with a board game.

Monopoly Money is often spent recklessly because it looks fake, therefore you're not spending "real" money.

British Pound
New Zealand Dollars
Canadian Dollar
Japanese Yen
Euro
Australlian Dollar
Switzerland Francs
South Africa Rand
Mexico Pesos
Russia Rubles
Saudi Arabia Riyals
etc

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Ovaltine

A crummy commercial.

*after cracking a secret code*
Ralphie: Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!

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