FOPEA

Females Obviously Prefer Egotistical Assholes

Guy 1: "Why does that jerk always seem to have a girlfriend even though he treats women like crap?" Guy 2:"Simple - FOPEA"

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Golden Rules of Life

1. Bob's Golden Rule of Life #1 - Women Get It When They Want. Men Get It When They Can.

2. FOPEA - Females Obviously Prefer Egotistical Assholes.

3. The Harry/Sally Rule - "Men And Women Can Never Truly Be Friends Because The Sex Part Always Gets In The Way."

4. Naked Curiosity Rule - Males Always Desire Seeing Female Acquaintances Naked... Always.

5. All Availability Rule - Regardless of their own status, men are fundamentally averse to encouraging a relationship between any woman and any other man.

Guy 1: "Men and women are so different. I wish we had a manual to decode eachothers behaviour"

Guy 2: "We do! The Golden Rules of Life!"

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The Harry/Sally Rule

Men And Women Can Never Truly Be Friends Because The Sex Part Always Gets In The Way.

Girl: "You are my best friend!"
Guy: "I'm not your friend"
Girl: "What?!?!?"
Guy: "I want to sleep with you"
Girl: "I don't want to ruin what we have"
Guy: "Ok - I guess The Harry/Sally Rule is true so I am officially not your friend anymore. Can we sleep together now?"

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Bob's Golden Rule of Life #1

Women Get It When They Want. Men Get It When They Can.

Why does she act that way?" "Simple - Bob's Golden Rule of Life #1". "Oh - Got it. Makes perfect sense now.

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Naked Curiosity Rule

Males Always Desire Seeing Female Acquaintances Naked... Always.

Guy 1: "Suzy is a nice girl, but she is REALLY ugly"
Guy 2: "She sent me a naked picture of herself once. Got it on my phone. Want to see?"
Guy 3: "Hell yeah. I gotta. Naked Curiosity Rule"

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Hooters Girl Opportunity Window

The amount of time a Hooters Girl is single and available as a dating prospect. Usually measured in milliseconds.

Guy 1: "Did you hear? Dawn the Hooters Girl is Single!"
Guy 2: "Forget it. That information is at least 10 minutes old. The Hooters Girl Opportunity Window on that one closed."

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All Availability Rule

Regardless of their own status, men are fundamentally averse to encouraging a relationship between any woman and any other man.

Girl: "I love what you and Jane have together. I want that. I should say yes to Jim."
Guy: "No you shouldn't. He's a jerk. I hear he has done time and is $200k in debt."

Girl walks away dejected

Guy 2: "Why did you do that?"
Guy: "All Availability Rule. Never know when I may need her single"

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