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OMFD

Acronym; commonly extrapolated as "oh my fucking dog."

A term coined by the founders of the Church of Dog in the modern age of acceptability. It is often used by people whom hold dogs in higher regards than the mysterious, albeit conveniently absent figure that is God.

Users of this phrase commonly find little comfort in religion and the realm of spirituality, so they choose to modify the commonly used acronym "OMFG" in order to meet their standards of disbelief or arbsurdism.

Keren: *sends picture of adorable husky*
Max: "Sweet lion of Zion she's so precious!"

*immediately reciprocates with picture of cute lab mix*
Keren: "OMFD she's such a little bloop"

by bonquequeg November 26, 2017

5👍 4👎


Nurseoid

A stereotypical nurse who is so burned out and apathetic that health care is second only to her sadistic pleasure of exacting joy from the (often induced) suffering of her patients and colleagues. Bureaucracy and general hospital regulations are her weapons which he or she can and will use to shit on all who incur her wrath. All it can take is a single inch incursion into a sterile field and she will rain hellfire and damnation onto you, old testament style. It is highly recommended to get in their good graces, by any means necessary, and your healthcare life will be made exponentially less stressful.

Matt: "Watch out for Lisa, she's a recall bitch on wheels nurseoid."
Jenny:" Don't worry, I bonded with her over scrapbooking so she won't shit all over me today."

by bonquequeg February 6, 2019


Elf on the Shelf

An extraordinarily stupid holiday tradition practiced by white, suburb-dwelling families which involves "hiding" a creepy doll somewhere in the house, for their young children to find. This may seem innocent enough, but the real motive behind this fad is to attempt to control the offspring's behavior through the threat of the Elf telling Santa Claus of the misdeeds they committed under the omnipotent surveillance of the Elf. A adult satire of this is Whore in the Drawer, simply replacing the Elf with a scantily clothed Barbie doll, and the shelf with a cabinet or drawer.

Wife: Jim, did you hide the Elf on the Shelf
Husband: No Carol, for fuck's sake, I told you it gives me the willies.

by bonquequeg December 8, 2015

90👍 80👎


Kickling

The body's natural defense to unprovoked tickling, often characterized by sudden and violent thrusts and swinging of the legs directed towards the perpetrator. Known to be deadly, those initiating the tickling will often come to regret their life choices very abruptly, especially when receiving a high velocity foot to the face.

While enjoying lunch with several others and seeming perfectly innocuous, Matt deftly reaches around to Keren and casually tickles her, which in turn leads to an epic kickling match, of which an ambulance ride and a month drinking food from a straw is the result for Matt.

by bonquequeg March 24, 2018

2👍 3👎