Birmingham Southern College

Birmingham Southern College, or BSC, is a private, four-year liberal arts college in Birmingham, Alabama. It is in the top tier of liberal arts colleges in the nation and it is also the #1 college in the state of Alabama. If you think this sounds good, try reading the last word of the previous sentence again. BSC is also known as Boringham Shitty College, Hilltop High School, Mini Harvard on the Hilltop, and the Bubble. BSC is basically full of pampered Brookies and ex boarding school students who can’t wait to get back in that environment. Out of about 1300 students, 97% are Greek and the other 3% qualify for handicapped parking spaces and/or free lunches.

All of the hot girls went to Ole Miss and some went to UA, but here’s what you get:
AOPis - beauty queen social climbers
Chi Os - pretentious, bitchy girls who have some "important cause" they are always whining or blogging about
Kappa Delta - Extroverted girls who look down on anyone without a trust fund. Note: when they're drunk...they don't care!
Zetas - BSC’s resident ugly sluts who live for drama, "lucky" for us, they know their place and will do some pretty kinky stuff for male attention
Pi Beta Phi - Emos and stragglers. For $60,000: are they even girls?

If you are a guy at BSC you face some slim pickings when it comes to hook ups, especially since most girls want an MRS even more so than a BFA (hello, future Vestavia Hills housewife!) However, your chances increase exponentially if you have a cool car, fake rolex, a drug supply, and belong to one of these frats:
Theta Chi - Can’t play for Alabama? You’ve got daddy’s money, so who cares? Paintball, Ultimate Frisbee and mini golf for everyone in this sports frat, where the sportiest it gets is beer pong!
ATO - Think Delta frat, but "sexually suspect." Known for throwing kick ass parties for hos. Girls go here because they know they won’t get hit on every six seconds. Little do they realize they wouldn’t get hit on anyway.
Sigma Chi - The smug bastard frat. Think of the most stereotypical, douchey frat boy you can, stick “class president” on his suit and “kiss the cook” on his grill apron, and you have a sigma.
Sigma Alpha Epsilon - Same Assholes Everywhere. Same douchiness found in Sigma Chi, but with a “Southern Gentleman” veneer to make up for other, uh, shortcomings.

If you go to BSC, remember your three R's: never turn RIGHT after leaving school because that goes into the ghetto, save the ROOFIES for Samford and UA since all the chicks here are more or less easy because they have to be, and forget your RITHMETIC because all the tests are multiple choice anyway.

Jethro Jimmy-O Jackass II: Hey look Thurston we like got into Birmingham Southern College
Thurston Asshat Rimjobber III: Yeah I know but I like really wanted to go to Harvard
6 months later
Jethro: Where you been Thurston
Thurston: I had to go to UAB, BSC was like way too hard

John: Hi baby, I have two cars and three houses and I know the president of the school so I am going here for free
Random ugly a$$ bitch: UH, you did know we go to a school where everyone knows everything about everyone, and you can’t make too much up, right? You're a poli sci major, you work two jobs and the army is helping pay for your school. You're not in a frat and you don't have a state county named after you, so piss off.

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