circumcision envy

A condition suffered by men who have not been circumcised. Firstly they have to wash their penises longer in the shower, secondly there's a far greater chance of a zipper mishap and thirdly (most importantly) because circumcised men get laid far more often ....... women just find it impossible to say no when there's 10% off !!

Lee felt a sudden pang of circumcision envy as he watched the girls wait in line to bag a piece of arran

154👍 181👎

river lemon

to be so pissed that you could kick your shoes off into a river and walk home barefoot whilst getting out your cock and challenging your best mate to a sword fight

Man I have a hangover, worst river lemon night I've had in a long while

51👍 10👎

panda pops

While fucking a female hard up against a bathroom wall the man, close to climax, grabs the females hips and swings her round and forcefully pushes her over the bathroom sink. Still thrusting he turns on the sink tap and splashes water in her eyes causing her mascara to run. The sight of this makes him pop his load and scream Panda Pops, poppy poppy Panda Pops in a high pitched, girly, voice.

Dave : Hey Mart did you watch the game last night ?

Mart : Nah mate

Dave : You missed it...how come ?

Mart : Panda Pops mate...poppy poppy Panda Pops

110👍 110👎