world wide widow

The wife or girlfriend of a guy who spends all his time on the internet instead of talking, watching TV, shopping or getting naked with her.

"Now that Tucker started that blog, poor Faye is a world wide widow."

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victory crap

A defecation, often voluminous, occurring after a term of inability to move one's bowels due to constipation, travel (excluding Mexico), being on a date, or other factors. Typically gratifying.

"As soon as I got home from church camp I spent two hours in the shitter taking a victory crap!