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Tent-sized light blue Y-fronts worn by Nogtard. First spotted on 22nd August when Nogtard stopped in the street and lifted his polo shirt. The pants were halfway up his chest and of a style not made since 1987. How often he changes them is anyone's guess.
Are we getting a marquee for my birthday party?
Not sure we'll get one big enough for all those guests we've got coming. We'll have to use Nogtard's pants instead.
A person who is so tall they can destroy a caravan by just standing up in it. As he stands up the caravandal's head smashes through the roof and the caravan is then ruined.
Anyone who is 5' 10" should be banned from caravans. They're all caravandals.
A South African word for 'bollocks'. The word was coined in the 1980s by South Africans who came to realise that English men called Maxwell talk nothing but bollocks.
Pork Scotch: I've got a girlfriend.
South African person: Maxwells! That's not a girl. Its a vampire turkey from hell.
The highest level of ugliness. A truly unbelievable degree of repulsiveness usually only achieved by little fat security guards.
Ugliness levels:
1 ugly
2 pug ugly
3 fugly
4 pug fugly
5 super pug fugly
6 scotch fugly
Generic name for a Maltby employee who is not a Maltby Hero. This worthless cretin removed Nogtard's Bog and Pork Scotch's Cone from the back of the Maltby Lorry and should be sacked from the glorious company of Maltby.
Where's Nogtard's Bog gone? Thought the Maltby men were all heroes.
That's the work of a Rogue Maltbyite. The Heroes must be informed so they can string the vile bastard up.
The vehicle driven by the Porky Scotcher. It is a white van with a very peculiar arrangement of windows. It is known as a half-car because it has too many windows to be considered a van and not enough to be considered a car.
Monk: That's a weird vehicle. Neither van nor car but somewhere in between.
Dad: Yes Monk, the technical name is 'half-car'. Its a vehicle especially for fat security guards who think they're too important to drive vans.
Eggs.
Grandad curry-hat's idea of black magic is having eggs placed in his hedge by Nogtard as a revenge prank for having bourbons posted through his letterbox.
The old twat was so terrified he phoned the landlady next door, shaking in his turban.
How come there are eggs in the hedge? Was it a student prank?
No, I think you'll find its Pak Magic.