Scientology

Scientology is a mock religion created by the reincarnation of Hitler, Robert E. Lee, Benedict Arnold, and Satan himself. For the purposes of this article this culmination of people will be referred to as Ron L. Hubbard. Hubbard wrote a book called Dianetics for people who hate themselves but think they are to cool to go emo. The first edition of this book had special brainwashing powers and caused whoever reads it to subscribe to the religion scientology. When this was found out, the publisher stopped puting the brainwashing chips in, but the cult following grew. The basic beliefs are that aliens were killed by an alien and got blown up so bad that they died and got stuck in our brains. The sole purpose of these alien pricks is to piss us off. The hierarches of scientology make their followers give them all of their money. This money is then forwarded to Satan for his crusade against Jesus. In recent times, with his growing power, Satan created "Scientolobabies" who grew into celebrities spreading scientology bullshit.

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