lice capades

The fun that ensues from your kids and consequent family getting lice.

I'm almost finished washing everything in our house, burning the couch and putting the kids in a plastic bag to isolate the infestation. It's so much fun! Welcome to the lice capades..

junior friday

Thursday

e.g. Is it Friday yet?
No, but it's junior Friday :)

12👍 3👎

ghost herpes

The paranoid itch you get on your privates when you didn't use a condom

I think he's clean, but I keep scratching my vajayjay...I really hope it's just ghost herpes

Man, I can't stop scratching my balls! She's my wife so I'm sure it's just ghost herpes

37👍 2👎

pigestrian

A pigeon walking on the sidewalk.

"I almost kicked that pigestrian that was walking on the sidewalk in front of the convenience store."

28👍 9👎

moobing violation

When a man's moobs are two inches larger than his love handles, or just having unsavoury moobs in general.

Why the hell is this guy with massive moobs in the firefighter calendar? He's a total moobing violation.

Dude, you should lay off the chips, your becoming a moobing violation.

25👍 8👎

cricketry

The act of being a cricket. Doing cricket-like things.

When people play with puppets, it's called puppetry, when crickets build castles or get together to rub their feet together to chirp, it's called cricketry. Not to be confused with trickery.

25👍 3👎

vajillain

Anything that is a villain of the vagina.
Eg. Yeast, bacterial vaginosis, stds, uncomfortable dildoes
Or a jerk

"Hey baby..wanna get it on tonite?"
"Sorry lover, I've got a bread vajillain..."

Or

"Oooh snap! Check out the a$$ on that crumpet!! I'm gonna be chillin like a vajillain later"

19👍 4👎