Coldstone Creamery

One of thee most easiest jobs ever created, yet somehow people get fired like crazy. We sing, we make ice cream, and we sit around and do nothing.
Come here, and say something stupid, we'll make fun of you for a week.
We hate having customers, yet they like coming here.
They ask us stupid questions. We give them stupid answers.
We don't care your ice cream is melting, so please don't tell us.
We could really careless if you like what you're eating, we just want to go home.
We don't sell half of the things you ask us for, and most of us are sick of hearing you idiots ask us about it.
Our boss is a jew bastard, who's not even jewish.
But is one of the most jewish people we've ever met.
Our manager is a child molster and pedo.
Tell him your cold, he'll turn the air lower.
Our assistant manager is also a pedo and around the clock pot head.
Everyone else who works here might as well have an IQ of 5.
Except for a select few.
Overall we hate our job, but we do it anyway cause we need the money.
And if you come in, we'll give you a fake smile here and there, but don't expect it all the time.
Welcome to Coldstone, you douche bag.

Customer: "WHY IS MY ICE CREAM MELTING?!"
Us: "Because it's ice cream."

Customer: "Do you sell coffee?"
Us: "What do you think?"

Customer: "Why are you called Coldstone Creamery?"
Us: "I don't know, I've been trying to figure out that since I've got a job here."

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I.M.S.

The I.M.S., known to the world as the Infamous Mob Soldiers, consists of wiggers in bloomingdale who think they're hot shit. They range from ages 14-18 and listen to predominately black music. To get into this so-called 'IMS' you must with-stand a beating by the members for 1 minute and 30 seconds. They walk pretty much everywhere they go since none of them have money for cars and in their spare time they sit around at someones house toking up. All their money that they get from 'husslin' little kids is spent on weed and alcohol. If you go up to an 'IMS' member and ask about them they take themselves VERY seriously. They now have shirts that are black (go figure) and read "I.M.S." (once again, who would have thought?) They're useless, low-life people who seriously need to get out of this town and maybe be brought to the REAL ghetto and get their asses beat. They think they're all hard, but they're all just a bunch of bitches. I understand bloomingdale is boring, but please, PLEASE don't refer to it as 'the ghetto'

Guy: Yo you betta watch out nigga 'for I.M.S. come beat yo ass!
Guy 2: Oh 'fo real? oh shit, im scurred
Guy: Yo son, it's the real shit. watch the fuck out!

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