underground railroad

the act of a girl starting with her tongue in the deep south (ball sack) and running up the length of the underside of the penis to the north (penis head). pioneered by harriet tubman, she is know as the best known giver of underground railroads, performing on Abraham Lincoln, getting him to free the slaves.

i hate getting underground railroads, they tickle.

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Eggplant

Eggplant is a sexual ritual not a weird ass looking purple vegetable. Eggplant involves 3 partners which 1 partner has to sacrifice himself to fullfill the circle of life throughout this ritual. The ritual consists of 1 female, 1 male and the sacrificial partner must be removed of all genatalia so that the gender can no longer be distinguished. You must acquire AIDS from a small African child then using chop sticks cut open the sacrificed partner's stomach and collect the blood mainly from around the bladder. Mix it in a Magic Bullet with Hellmans mayonaise, take that sticky mixture from hell and combine it with the African child AIDS. That is to be the lubricant for the disgusting action im about to describe. You use a woodworking jig to pry open the sacrificed persons ass cavern and in the process that may take years you slowly stretch the ass cavern so as to not rip the walls of the ass until it is large enough to fit u and ur partner into the cavern(remember that hell lube?) ya. once inside build a replica of Fort Sumter where u will role play as 2 army privates discovering rim jobs for the first time. now break through the ass walls like 1999. fuck you it was a good year.

Person #1: Where have u been man? Havent seen u for like 3 years.

Person #2: I was Eggplanting.

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