Michael J'd

Michael J. Fox is a famous actor with Parkinson's disease, which causes uncontrollable tremors. Imagine the struggles Michael J. Fox faces on a daily basis while trying to pour a glass of orange juice or pour milk over his cereal - this is the essence of what it means to "Michael J" something.

Michael J'ing is when you miserably fail at performing an action that requires a basic level of physical adeptness/dexterity, and usually results in the catastrophic destruction of an important item, or project.

Frank: Hey, Jimbob, be careful carrying two bowls at once you don't want to dr-
*drops bowls of stew all over freshly cleaned carpet*
Jimbob: Woops
Frank: God dammit, Jimbob, you michael j'd the fuck out of my carpet! I just cleaned this shit!

Potato Dick

A dick that is literally shaped like a potato.

Most penises, of average girth and length, and traditional phallic shape, resemble a hot dog with a mushroom tip. A potato dick, on the other hand, is excessively girthy. Typically with a burst of girth in the middle, and the glans of the penis is smaller than the shaft resulting in it being generally indistinguishable from the rest of the penis. Potato dicks also tend to have a downward curve, but it is not a requirement.

*Watching porn with friend, no homo*
Will: Holy shit, that dude has a huge pecker!
Bill: Ya...but it's a potato dick, bro. It's like trying to jam a campbells soup can into a donut hole.

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