Merjem

Merjem is the kindest and most loving person you will ever meet. Yes, she may be a very strong and independent woman, one of the most warm-hearted people you will ever meet, hopeful and sexy. But not a hopeless romantic. Are you trying to shoot your shot at Merjem? Well, good luck with that - cuz she's TAKEN! Without her love, everyone who loves her is just a bunch of futile peasants. Besides, if Merjem's heart was sold at auction, I would pay tenfold the highest bid ( just sayin'). Merjem is one in a million and having Merjem in your life really facilitates it. Seeing Merjem smile and feeling her presence is truly a dream come true. Without Merjem, you are a abominable, futile oaf.

A: I think I've found the one.
B: Let me guess... Merjem!
A: Precisely!