Yankee Denial

A New York Yankee fan's inability to process, discuss or even defend their organization's ever-expanding, rediculously large payroll, and annual rape of the free agent market with bloated contract offers.

An average exchange:

Me - "Did you know Alex Rodriguez is worth as much as the Kansas City Royals?"

Joe - "I bet you's can't count to 27, can yuh?"

Me - "You do realize the Yankees out-spent the average MLB payroll by more than $113 million dollars this season?"

Joe - "Derek Jeter is gonna be president one day."

Me - "I'm sure anyone would be better than our current leader. You do realize the Yankees have produced the highest payroll in baseball 16 of the past 17 seasons?"

Joe - "That Ryan Zimmerman sure would look nice in pinstripes!"

Me - "Ugh..."

Joe - "I listen to 'Enter Sandman' before breakfast every morning."

Me - "Great song. You do realize the Yankees have the highest paid starters in the MLB at six different positions?"

Joe - "Start spreadin' the news!"

Me - "You, my man, are drenched in a case of Yankee Denial."

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Pedestrian Pick

The act of getting a jump on a long line of traffic in a parking lot because some reckless pedestrian has decided to walk out in front of a car. Most beneficial when needing a left turn.

Driver: "Whoa! That fat lady almost got clipped by that Pinto."

Passenger: "Yeah, but that tub-of-lard cut off those other ten cars. Left turn please."

Driver: "Saved by the Pedestrian Pick!"