Corporate Profit Day

Otherwise known as Saint Valentine's Day. Celebrated on February 14 every year, Corporate Profit Day is the time of year that business rakes in billions of dollars preying on the irrational desire of many couples to legitimize their relationships in the eyes of their peers.

Jill: Hey Jack! What did you get your girlfriend for Corporate Profit Day?

Bob: I got her a box of chocolates and some flowers because we are getting SO serious!

Jill: Oh, you must love her more than my boyfriend loves me because he only got me a box of chocolates.