Shit Geyser

a Shit Geyser is when someone has diarrhea, doesn't wipe, and then swiftly sits down, causing the diarrhea pooled in the ass cheeks to displace and explode out the top of their butt cheeks, resulting in a Shit Geyser

"give me all the money in the register or else I will Shit Geyser everywhere

Human Bidet

the human Bidet can be done solo, with two people, and even with a group. a solo human Bidet is when you take a shit and you pee while still sitting down and it rolls down your nut and taint and cleans your bum. the human Bidet with a partner is the same, but one person gets up and the other pisses on their bumhole, this one is much more effective. the group human Bidet is the same but with a bunch of people pissing on the poopers bumhole, this is the most effective variant.

"dear diary, today I shitted and ran out of kittens to wipe with, but thankfully I peed and it was a human Bidet, so it was ok in the end"

"hey playbou carti can you give me some human Bidet"

"precinct 6 get to hemorrhoid street ASAP, there's a guy here who needs some group human Bidet"