deuce bag

A tennis player who is losing at first, but then catches up and ties, often angering the player who was once in the lead.

Player 1: "Hmmm... looks like we're tied!"

Player 2: "You're such a deuce bag."

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culinary abortion

An unpleasant meal, usually followed by numerous complaints or vomiting.

Mother: Guess what's for dinner... my special meatloaf!

Child: Oh, great! Another one of mom's culinary abortions.

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