Customer Service

A job which causes your ass to bleed like hell, your psyche to be corrupted by severe hatred and psychosis, and which has significantly increased the suicide rate of humans. You always have to take it up the ass by these whiny, bitchy, brain-fucked assholes that are called "customers" who do nothing but scream, complain, and make your life a living hell. Finding an actual intelligent and non-bitchy customer is like selling a pack of Grand Prix cigarettes: it's so fucking rare that it almost never happens.

-"I'm sorry but I do not have enough money to cash this payroll check at the moment."
"What? No, I want a manager, right now."
"Fine, bitch, I'll call a manager for you, but it's not going to change the fact that I don't have enough money in my fucking till."

-"OMG THIS IS THE WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE I HAVE EVER HAD, YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE ANY MORE CHEETOS IN STOCK, THAT'S IT IM NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN, WALMART IS GOING TO DRIVE YOUR ASS OUT OF TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Go ahead. I'm a full-time college student working almost a full-time job at minimum wage, sleep-deprived and hardly getting homework done on time. You don't know how few shits I give."

-"I want your number to corporate because these cookies rang up 99 cents more than advertised!!!"

-"OMG THATS IT IM REPORTING YOU GUYS TO THE BBB FOR FALSE ADVERTISING!!!!"
"Cool story bro, want a fucking trophy or something?"

-"I swear, once I graduate and receive my degree, I'm going to kiss all of you asshole customers goodbye for a real job!"

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