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Albuquerque jackhammer

Occurs when a female thrusts her pelvis forcefully and repeatedly into the face of someone performing cunnilingus on her, causing rapid collisions of her pubic bone and the muff diver's face (and thus crudely emulating a jackhammer). These violent collisions may result in bruising of the victim's face and, in particularly violent cases, broken bones. The Albuquerque jackhammer usually occurs inadvertently as a result of extreme ecstasy felt by the female, and in such cases she is either unaware of the violent motions she is carrying out or aware of them but unable to stop or control them. In rare cases an Albuquerque jackhammer may be carried out intentionally by a woman, usually to seek revenge on an ex-lover whom she has seduced into performing cunnilingus on her under the false pretense that they have become fuck buddies. In such cases of revenge, the female will usually trap the unsuspecting victim in a headlock with her thighs, so as to enable a merciless rain of blows upon his face without him escaping.

"Jesus, John! Your face is so horribly bruised! What happened?"

"Well, I saw Sarah last night at a bar, and she came up to me and said she still had feelings for me and wanted to be fuck buddies. Naturally, I obliged, and the next thing I know she has me in a headlock with her thighs giving me an Albuquerque jackhammer! I was in the ER all night."

"Good God, man."

by corsendonk September 21, 2009

48👍 8👎


donkey hammer

Used to refer to the penis and scrotum as a single unit. Its name derives from the fact that a profile view of a cock and balls crudely resembles a hammer, with the scrotum as its head and the penis as its handle.

Guy #1: Hey I was going through John's mail and I found this issue of "Cock'n'Balls Monthly" with his name and address on it.

Guy#2: (flipping through magazine) By the looks of it, they really cater to the package shot connoisseurs.

Guy #1: Well we all know what a big fan he is of the donkey hammer.

Guy #2: True, true.

by corsendonk September 17, 2009

17👍 3👎