Burrito

A substance who's nonexistence would cause suicide on a global scale

Carl: Dude, I want a burrito.
Sean: Yeah man if I go another week without one I'd kill myself

17👍 12👎

Panicure

What happens when a woman from New Jersey gets angry in a nail salon

Jenny: Why's your hair all fucked up? Didn't you just get back from the salon?
Karina: This Jersey whore started a panicure and all hell broke loose.

1👍 1👎