lonely salad

When a person of either sex penatrates one or more bodily orifices with penis shaped fruits and/or vegetables. Initiated due to overwhelming loneliness.

Hey bro, I'm almost positive Paige made a lonely salad today, or she just has a really good vibrator.
(or)
Clay: Maegan what do you do when your boyfriends not around?
Maegan: I just make lonely salad.

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rigamortis tongue

When one contracts his/her tongue muscle in a cylinderical and/or probe-like shape. This is typically prepartion to be used to penatrate the rectal wall.

Clay C: What did you do with Morgan's sister last night?
Clay K: I got all white trash on her, and gave her the rigamortis tongue before we got raw dog nasty!
(or)
I'm going to give Katie the ol' rigamortis tongue this weekend!

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